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Old 12-07-2007, 07:25 PM   #1
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Christmas Poems #2

Wheelin' Through a Winter Wonderland
(Sung to the tune "Walkin' In A Winter Wonderland")

Beads pop off, are you listenin'
Cold wind through - your ears is whistlin'
Your winch falls apart, your engine won't start
Wheelin' through a winter wonderland

Snow is deep, your butt is freezin'
Broke a birfield, it ain't pleasin'
You're starting to slide, on your wheels, then your side
Wheelin' through a winter wonderland

On the hillclimb we can barely make it
Traction's really nowhere to be found
Pull the cable, snatch the block and fake it.
Or claw along and put the hammer down!

Later on, we'll perspire
Drying gloves by the fire
Counting things that we broke, "That's Wheeling" we'll joke,
Wheeling through a winter wonderland...

================================================== ======================

The Winch that Saved Christmas
Copyright 1997 by Rich and Greg Lewis

The wind was quite heavy on one Christmas Eve,
Santa traveled by ground, behind schedule, if you believe.
He was cruising through California in his mighty red sleigh,
And said, "If I don't hurry, there will be no Christmas Day."

Blitzen turned around and said, "Santa, you won't fail,
We Reindeer found a short-cut called the Rubicon Trail."
They headed for the trail, but when they got there,
The rocks looked much bigger than they did from the air.

Up hill the reindeer struggled to make the sleigh go,
And getting around those rocks made the progress quite slow.
They tried really hard but there just wasn't a way,
To get axle articulation from an old wooden sleigh.

Where the rocks are quite steep, Santa ran out of luck,
Even with nine reindeer, he finally got stuck.
The Rubicon Trail is no place for a sleigh full of toys,
Santa sighed, "I've failed all those good girls and boys!"

"They'll rise in the morning, leave their rooms and say,
'Under the tree, it is empty, is there NO CHRISTMAS DAY?'"
They couldn't budge the sleigh, no matter how hard they tried,
Santa felt so hopeless he sat down and cried.

Suddenly in the distance came a loud clanking sound,
Like an old wind-up toy that's been too tightly wound.
They saw it come over a boulder with a creep,
A rock crawlin', mud boggin' CJ-5 Jeep.

Its fenders were dented, and its sides were all scratched,
The top had big holes that hadn't been patched.
But its tires were big ones, 35 inch,
And on its front bumper was a shiny new winch.

"If you're taking the Rubicon," the CJ started to say,
"Go with a group and get mud tires for that sleigh."
Santa said, "I'm sorry, I feel like a jerk,"
The old CJ-5 said nothing, it just went to work

The sleigh was unstuck and free in a cinch,
Thanks to that CJ and its shiny new winch.
Santa went on to fulfill Christmas day,
With the old CJ-5 leading the way.

Now many years have passed and the reindeer are older,
They don't fly very well when the weather gets colder.
But Santa's still out there every year without fail,
Fulfilling his promise in the air and on the trail.

On Christmas Eve, if you chance to look in the sky,
You just might see him in that old CJ-5.

================================================== ====================

The Night Before Christmas (Santas New Ride)

T'was the night before Christmas,and all thru the woods,
'Old Santa was playing while delivering 'the goods'.

His sleigh was retired, after years of abuse,
and the reindeer had fallen in with a bad crowd of moose.

But the kids wanted toys, and his promises he'd keep,
So he worked his elves over-time, and built him a Jeep.

Not just a Jeep, but one bad FSJ,
with a set of huge swampers, and a harness from Bell.

Nine inches of lift, 38's on the wheels,
and a 350 Chevy (on which he got a good deal).

On the night of his journey he fired up his new "sleigh",
And the elves couldn't help laughing as he pulled away...

"On PIAA, on Rancho, Flowmaster, and Spicer,
on Bestop, on Dana, Olympic, and Mopar!"

So, now he goes mudding instead of in flight,
with a "Merry Christmas to all and to all a mud night!"

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